Can you correct my work, please?
I love using my head, making up stories, etc.. but I'm not very good when they come to write the stories, but I'll give it a go anyway! Can you please tell me if I made a mistake in this intro English history: Raymond backpack and the curse of Wilma Rag Doll Intro: Raymond Backpack is a very old-fashioned man. He wears a pair of gray pants with belts generally red, white shirt underneath and a long tailored black jacket with six pockets each side covered with a dark blue hat Hanna. He lives in a rented two-story room in the center of the city of Dublin with his son Desmond. Today Raymond and Desmond will sit on his living room watching television, until Raymond will receive a phone call that will lead to bigger and Desmond's adventure yet ... Chapter 1: ...... Thanks a million, and so on.
Raymond Backpack is a very old-fashioned man. He wears a pair of gray pants with red suspenders in general, white shirt and a long black coat measurement with six pockets on each side, covered with a dark blue hat Hanna. (What's a hat with Hanna, I think you will lose your reader from here) He lives in a two-story rented room in downtown Dublin with her son Desmond. (describe Desmond) Desmond Today Raymond and sit in your living room watching television, Raymond until you receive a phone call that will lead to bigger and Desmond's adventure yet ...
Europe #15 - Dublin/Ireland (Jan06)
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